YunCyn's Kissing In A Tree
by mumyou nanashi
Summary: [blank] and [blank] sitting in a tree! k i s s i n g! The Destiny cast gets dragged into the game.
1. SEED

**KISSING IN A TREE.**

_**-**_

_**Disclaimer: **Gundam SEED does not belong to me. Ditto, the song. The original idea belongs to **YunCyn**. Done with author's permission.  
_

_**Warning:** Sorry if certain comments may offend you in some way. Non-yaoi, spur-of-the-moment, plotless fic. (Hey, it's humor. It's meant to be plotless.)_

_-_

* * *

One. **CIC-Girl** and **Skygrasper-Pilot**

-

_Miriallia and Tolle_

_Sitting in a tree!_

_K-I-S-S-I-N-G!_

_First, comes love!_

_Then, comes marriage!_

-

Dearka: Then, tolle gets beheaded by a flying carriage!

Milly: (glare) Dearka!

Tolle: I'll haunt you.

Dearka: (smirk) Fine. I'll call Reverend Malchio. Anyone up for some exorcism?

----------------------

Two. **Evil-Girlfriend** and **Dumped-Boyfriend**

-

_Flay and Sai,_

_Sitting in a tree!_

_K-I-S-S-I-N-G!_

-

Flay: Why the heck would I climb a tree? That would, like, totally ruin my dress!

All other cast members rolls their eyes.

----------------------

Three. **Evil-Girlfriend** and **Genocidal-Masked-Man**.

-

_Flay and Rau…_

_-_

Rau: (evil sneer) I don't go for girls who just hit their puberty. I may be genocidal but I'm not a pedophile.

----------------------

Four. **Captain **and **Moebius-Pilot.**

-

_Murrue and Mwu,_

_Sitting in a tree!_

_K-I-S-S-I-N-G!_

-

Mwu: (smirk) I'd choose a cozier place.

Murrue: Like weightless in space. (giggle)

----------------------

Five. **Pretty-Lady** and **Coffee-Freak.**

-

_Aisha and Andy,_

_Sitting in a tree!_

_K-I-S-S-I-N-G!_

_-_

Rau: (snicker) no wonder you get killed by that kid.

Andy: (defensive) Hey! I didn't get killed!

----------------------

Six. **Chestless-Vice-Captain** and **Moebius Pilot**.

-

_Natarle and Mwu,_

_Sitting in a tree!_

-

Murrue: (eyes flashing) That better be the only thing that they're doing there, all there'll be Lohengrins to fire!

----------------------

Seven. **Chestless-Vice-Captain** and **Genocidal-Maniac**.

-

_Natarle and Azrael,_

_Sitting in a tree!_

-

Orga: _K-I-L-L-I-N-G!_

Crot: _First, comes "bang"!_

Shani: _Then, comes "ouchies!"_

Druggies: _Then, comes "boom!" from Gottfried's canons!_

…

Murrue: That was…interesting.

Mwu: Knowing Azrael, that's highly romantic.

----------------------

Eight. **Pianist-Pilot** and **Pilot-with-Self-Destruct-Fetish.**

-

_Nicol and Athrun…_

_-_

Nicol: (twitch) Continue and I'll show you how it feels to get sliced in half inside the Blitz.

Athrun: I don't go for guys… or guys that look like girls, for that matter. No offense, Nicol.

Nicol: None taken.

Athrun: Maybe girls that look like guys, but never the other way around.

Cagalli: (twitch) What the hell do you mean by that?

----------------------

Eight. **Hothead-Pilot** and **Cool-as-Hell-Pilot.**

-

_Yzak and Dearka,_

_Sitting in a tree!_

_K-I-S-S-I-N-G!_

-

Yzak: (turning green) Oh, barf!

Dearka: (turning blue) Like hell I'll do that to a guy!

Other cast members shudder in thought.

----------------------

Nine. **CIC-Girl** and **Cool-as-Hell-Pilot**.

-

_Miriallia and Dearka,_

_Sitting in a tree!_

_K-I-S-S-I-N-G!_

-

Dearka: Now we're talking!

-

_First, comes love!_

_Then…_

_-_

Tolle: _comes Milly with a knife! And finally Flay with a gun to blast your head off!_

Kira: Woah. Makes you wonder how he managed to squeeze that into the song.

Sai: That's why it came out rather breathless.

----------------------

Ten. **Evil-Girlfriend** and **Wimpy-Pilot.**

-

_Flay and Kira,_

_Sitting in a tree!_

_K-I-S-S-I-N-G!_

-

Murdoch: Somehow, I don't think that's the only thing they're doing up there.

The rest of the Archangel crew nod their heads fervently with hentai smiles on their faces.

----------------------

Eleven. **Songstress** and **Pilot-with-Self-Destruct-Fetish**.

-

_Lacus and Athrun,_

_Sitting in a tree!_

_K-I-S-S-I-N-G!_

-

Athrun: (blushing/looking around for Cagalli) I would never do that!

Lacus: For starters, Athrun doesn't know how to climb a tree!

The rest of the cast feel sweat drops forming at the back of their heads.

----------------------

Twelve. **Tomboyish-Princess **and **Wimpy-Pilot.**

-

_Cagalli and Kira,_

_Sitting in a tree!_

_K-I-S-S-I-N-G!_

**_­_**-

Kira: What! She's my twin sister! And she's younger than I am! That's incest!

Cagalli: (bonks Kira in the head) Idiot! I'm older!

Kuzzey: (thoughtful look) But it could be possible in an Alternate Universe.

Cagalli: Well, we're in -this- universe! (bonks Kuzzey in the head)

----------------------

Thirteen. **Wimpy-Pilot** and **Pilot-with-Self-Destruct-Fetish**.

-

_Kira and Athrun,_

_Sitting in a tree!_

_K-I-S…_

-

Athrun: (green) Oh, that is just sick!

Kira: (shudder) Yeah! And didn't Lacus tell you? Athrun can't climb a tree!

Athrun: HEY!

----------------------

Fourteen. **Songstress** and **Wimpy-Pilot**.

-

_Lacus and Kira,_

_Sitting in a tree!_

_K-I-S-S-I-N-G!_

_First comes love!_

_Then comes marriage!_

_Then comes Haro in a baby carriage!_

-

Kira: (wide-eyed) WHAT? WHY A HARO!

Lacus: Oh, isn't that just sweet and precious?

----------------------

Saved the best for last. **Tomboyish-Princess** and **Pilot-with-Self-Destruct-Fetish.**

-

_Cagalli and Athrun,_

_Sitting in a tree!_

_K-I-S-S-I-N-G!_

_First comes love,_

_Then comes marriage,_

_Then comes a baby in a baby carriage!_

**-**

Athrun is love-struck and starry-eyed.

Cagalli, ditto.

Azrael: Well, just wait until you watch Destiny!

Azrael gets blasted by Strike Rouge's and Justice's most powerful weapons… along with pitchforks from fervent Athrun-Cagalli supporters.

----------------------

_**Author's Notes: **I have nothing against yaoi. It's just not my cup of tea. If you were somehow offended, I apologize in advance. This is entirely for humor. But it wouldn't hurt to receive reviews. Flames are… flames. I think I've just proven just how much I love the Athrun-Cagalli pairing._


	2. DESTINY

_**Author's Notes: **This is the Destiny version. Again, non-yaoi, spur-of-the-moment, plot-less, and another result of my bout with insomnia. Does anyone have a cure?_

_I apologize as early as now if you get offended by some comments._

_-_

* * *

-

**Hot-head Commander and The Other Subordinate**

**-**

_**Yzak and Shiho,**_

_**Sitting in a tree…**_

…

…

_-_

Athrun: (_curious_) So… what _are_ they doing there?

Dearka: (_shrug_) I don't know. Shiho doesn't talk.

Yzak: (_smug look_) Just because she doesn't talk doesn't mean that she doesn't do anything either.

**--------------------**

**Foul-mouthed Protagonist and Butt-kicking Female Pilot**

**-**

_**Shinn and Luna,**_

_**Sitting in a tree!**_

_**K-I-S-S-I-N-G!**_

-

Rey: (_frowns_) I don't think so.

Vino: (_smirk_) Why? Because you like Lunamaria? Or Shinn?

Rey: (_flatly_) Because I saw them kissing in space.

Youlant: Woah! Really?

Shinn and Luna: (_blushing madly_) Rey!

**--------------------**

**Foul-mouthed Protagonist and Dazed Extended**

**-**

_**Shinn and Stellar,**_

_**Sitting in a tree!**_

_**K-I-S-S-I-N-G!**_

_**First comes love!**_

_**Second comes marriage!**_

_**Third comes a baby in a baby carriage!**_

_**-**_

Stellar: Where do babies come from?

Shinn: (_hiding from Luna_)

Luna: (_dryly_) Isn't Stellar supposed to be dead?

Stellar: (_shocked_) Dead! Dying! It's bad! It's scary!

Neo: Quick! Get the shots!

**--------------------**

**Foul-mouthed Protagonist and Princess Prime Minister**

**-**

_**Shinn and Cagalli,**_

_**Sitting in a tree!**_

_**K-I-S-S-I-N-G!**_

_**-**_

Shinn: (_yelling_) Are you a fucking moron? Why the hell would I kiss her? I might as well kiss Rey!

Rey: (_slaps hand into forehead_) Don't encourage the fan-girls, Shinn.

Cagalli: It's not like _I_ would want to kiss you either, jerk! (_slaps Shinn_)

Gilbert: (_thoughtful look_) You know, that's something that she should've done in the series.

**--------------------**

**Foul-mouthed Protagonist and Dead Sister**

**-**

_**Shinn and Mayu,**_

_**Sitting in a tree!**_

_**K-I-S-S-I-N-G!**_

-

Shinn: (_horrified_) You sick, sick bastards! That's incest!

Rau: (_muttering_) Not to mention necrophilia…

**--------------------**

**Leader Extended and …?**

**-**

_**Sting and…**_

…

…

_**Just who is suitable for him, anyway?**_

_**-**_

Sting: (_sulking_) Thanks a lot!

**--------------------**

**Cocky Momma's Boy Extended and Dazed Extended**

**-**

_**Auel and Stellar,**_

_**Sitting in a tree!**_

_**K-I-S-S-I-N-G!**_

_**-**_

Auel: (_blushing_) Why would I kiss a moron!

Stellar: Sting… (_confused_) What does K-I-S-S-I-N-G read?

**--------------------**

**Purple-haired Freak and Princess Prime Minister**

**-**

**_Jona and Cagalli,_**

_**Standing up in stage!**_

_**W-E-D-D-I-N-G!**_

_**First comes Athrun,**_

_**Second comes Justice,**_

_**Third comes Jona in a blasted coffin!**_

_**-**_

Jona: (_defensive_) Hey! That's not what happened in the series!

Cagalli: Not like you were any better there, scaredy-cat! (_throws a shoe at Jona_)

Kira: Did you know that Athrun spent all night composing that?

**--------------------**

**Purple-haired Freak and a GOUF**

**-**

_**Jona and a blue GOUF,**_

_**In the middle of the runway,**_

_**R-U-N-N-I-N-G!**_

_**First, comes an 'oof!'**_

_**Down goes the blue GOUF**_

_**And there goes Jona's squished body parts!**_

-

Cagalli: Don't tell me…

Kira: (_nodding_) Yup. Athrun did that as well.

Yzak: I always knew Athrun had a violent side…

**--------------------**

**Everyone's Favorite Cloned Clone and Butt-kicking Female Pilot**

**-**

_**Rey and Luna,**_

_**Sitting in a tree!**_

_**K-I-S-S-I-N-G!**_

-

Jibril: What a cute couple. A blond girl and a red-haired male!

Rey: (_hops inside Legend, activates its DRAGOONS and aims it at Jibril_) Déjà vu.

**--------------------**

**Evil Chairman and Everyone's Favorite Cloned Clone**

**-**

_**Gilbert and Rey,**_

_**Sitting in a tree!**_

_**K-I-S-S-I-N-G!**_

_**-**_

Rey: (_screams bloody murder_) THAT IS IT! I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS STUPID GAME! I COULD TOLERATE BEING PAIRED WITH SHINN OR BEING CALLED A GIRL, BUT BEING PAIRED WITH GIL? THAT IS JUST SICK! HE'S PRACTICALLY MY FATHER! (_goes Rau-like and goes on a killing rampage_)

Gilbert: I never knew he felt that strongly about it.

Rau: (_sneer_) I told him to cut his hair… but did he listen to me? NOOOOOOoooo… Teenagers these days.

**--------------------**

**Knight in Red and Minerva CIC Girl**

**-**

_**Athrun and Meyrin,**_

_**Sitting in a tree!**_

_**K-I-S-S-I-N-G!**_

_**-**_

Meyrin: (_blushing_) I-it's n-not like that! It's just an innocent crush!

Cagalli: Crush… That's a coincidence! (_death glare_) Because I'd like to crush Athrun now!

Athrun: (_hiding…somewhere_) Gulp!

**--------------------**

**Knight in Red and Butt-kicking Female Pilot**

**-**

_**Athrun and Luna,**_

_**Sitting in a tree!**_

_**K-I-S-S-I-N-G!**_

_**-**_

Athrun: (_slaps his forehead_) Whoever the singer is… You're trying to get me killed!

Luna: (_looking at Cagalli nervously_) Me, too! I've got Shinn, for crying out loud!

Stellar: …but I thought Shinn liked Stellar…?

**--------------------**

**Knight in Red and Bouncy Songstress**

**-**

_**Athrun and Meer,**_

_**Sitting in a tree!**_

_**K-I-S-S-I-N-G!**_

_**First comes a Haro!**_

_**Second comes a shotgun!**_

_**Third comes a coffin carrying Meer's dead body!**_

_**-**_

Meer: (_pouting_) That's mean!

Kira: (_shrug_) Guess who wrote that?

**--------------------**

**Knight in Red and Princess Prime Minister**

**-**

_**Athrun and Cagalli,**_

_**Sitting in a tree!**_

_**K-I-S-S-I-N-G!**_

_**-**_

Cagalli: (_calm now_) I thought Lacus said you couldn't climb a tree?

Athrun: (_shyly_) For you, I'd learn how to.

AC fan-girls: Awwwwww!

Gilbert: (_shaking his head_) And the scriptwriter said they never had a thing for each other…

Talia: (_nods_) Friends don't kiss or hug like that.

Rau: (_smirk_) What about you two? You had sex.

Talia: Whoever said anything about Gilbert and me being 'just friends'?

**--------------------**

**Knight in Red and Foul-mouthed Protagonist**

**-**

_**Athrun and Shinn…**_

_**-**_

Athrun: (_finally explodes_) ARGH! AS IF IT WASN'T ENOUGH BEING PAIRED WITH THREE MORE GIRLS! (_joins Rey on his killing rampage_)

Shinn: Just what is it with Athrun that makes him so pair-able with other characters? You could pair practically anyone with him!

ATHRUN: I AM NOT A M(bleeeeeeeeeep)ING W(bleep!)E!

**--------------------**

**Coffee Freak and Archangel Captain**

**-**

**_Andrew and Murrue,_**

_**Sitting in a tree!**_

_**K-I-S-S-I-N-G!**_

_**-**_

Andrew: (_laughs_) As if I could climb a tree with a missing arm and leg!

Murrue: (_giggles_)

Neo: (_confused_) Makes me wonder even more if they had a relationship…

**--------------------**

**Masked Man Version 2.0 and Archangel Captain**

**-**

_**Neo and Murrue,**_

_**Sitting in a tree!**_

_**K-I-S-S-I-N-G!**_

_**-**_

Murrue: I'm not gonna do that!

Neo: (_crushed_) Why not?

Murrue: You have to regain your memories first. Until then, only hugs are allowed.

**--------------------**

**Evil Chairman and Everyone's Favorite Clone**

**-**

_**Gilbert and Rau,**_

_**Sitting in a tree!**_

_**K-I-S-S-I-N-G!**_

_**-**_

Gilbert: (_amused smile_) Why, Rau! You never told me you felt that way!

Rau: (_sarcastic_) Oh, you know. I was too busy plotting to kill everyone that I didn't have time for love.

**--------------------**

**Evil Chairman and Minerva Captain**

**-**

_**Gilbert and Talia,**_

_**Sitting in a tree!**_

_**K-I-S-S-I-N-G!**_

_**-**_

Rau: (_sneer_) That's not the only thing happening there.

Gilbert: I'd pick a more suitable place…Like the captain's cabin, for example.

Talia: (_nodding_) True, true.

**--------------------**

**Invincible Pilot and Bouncy Songstress**

**-**

_**Kira and Meer,**_

_**Sitting in a tree!**_

_**K-I-S-S-I-N-G!**_

_**-**_

Lacus: (_teary-eyed_) How could you!

Kira: Huh? I can explain! If ever that would happen, it would all be a case of mistaken identity!

Lacus: MISTAKEN? Take a long look at our chests and tell me if it's mistaken identity!

Kira: I didn't notice it! Honest! (_getting desperate_) Please, Lacus…

_-Everyone starts laughing-_

Kira: Wha-?

Lacus-who-turned-out-to-be-Meer: Ah! Sorry, Kira! Lacus-sama put me up to it! (_apologetic look_)

Lacus-the-REAL-one: (_steps out of hiding place_, _giggling_) You look so cute when you're groveling for forgiveness!

**-**

* * *

-

_**Author's Notes: **Thank you very much to everyone who reviewed. Now that I've gotten this out of my system, I could go back to writing 'Salute!' in peace…_

_If you're wondering why the dead characters are in there, we paid for the services of a spirit medium to channel their spirits. And who is the blasted, annoying singer anyway? Answer: Who knows? It's a mystery and no one knows. :D_

_Flame me if you're prepared for the full-scale war that will follow. I haven't slept a wink in three friggin' days so I might be a little cranky. _:)


End file.
